WASHINGTON DC: Comedy of errors

There are things that happen in life that make you think, “If my life were a comedy, this would make the blooper reel.” Sometimes it is the things that make you laugh and sometimes it’s the laughs that keeping you from crying. This trip was loaded with both.

1. When visiting the SHAKESPEARE LIBRARY we were surprised to find that there are no actual Shakespearian artifacts, only that of his contemporaries.

2. The way I feel about David Cook is pretty transparent. He is, among other things, my favorite singer and I have, as you know, gone to extraordinary lengths to see him. So explain to me why would I ignore him?

On Race day David was being annoyed by fans. I say annoyed because, as if it shouldn’t be common courtesy, members of David’s team are told that the day is about the Race and in the spirit of keeping everything on time, that he should not be asked for hugs, hugging pictures, or autographs but indeed there were about ten people who didn’t think they should follow the rule. Aside from everything else, I know that it is an emotional day for him so I wouldn’t bother him anyway. I had to pass him and the hounding fans to get my team bracelet and, to my surprise, as I passed he said hello and threw his arm out for a hug. It never occurred to me, until I completely brushed by him, that he was aiming for me. His brother said, “Ooh shut down,” and David laughed, “Yeah, I guess not.” I didn’t want to go back and pity-hug him so I just yelled really loudly, “I needed my bracelet.” I think there was a part of Lauren that wanted to slap me, and probably still does.

3. Saturday Night, after a great soak in the pool and hot tub, it occurred to us that our wet bathing suits would never dry so we decided to throw them in the Guest Landry Dryer. After our showers we went down to do this (in jammies) and realized there wasn’t a change machine so Lauren went to the lobby for quarters, while I was to wait in the glass laundry room that is located inside the gym. The gym had a TV and it was playing the royal wedding so went into the middle of the gym and stood there watching until I realized it would look weird just standing there so I went on a treadmill. In my pajamas- and flip flops- with a towel over my shoulders so my wet hair didn’t wet my shirt; again I did this to NOT look weird. Then Lauren came back and I realized she had her towel around her head in a hair turban and had worn it that way to the check in desk; there is always someone weirder.

4. While waiting for Sunday’s dinner to cook, I ran to the lobby bathroom, outside of which a middle aged Italian man in a suit told me I was beautiful which I am sure had nothing to do with my low cut top and asked why I was in town. I responded the Brain Cancer race and thanked him, saying I was leaving (hint leave me alone.) He told me that I was more beautiful than all the women he knew at home (Italy) and asked for my number. He creeped me out so I said sorry and that I am engaged to the chair of the race, which is why he wasn’t there, but would be meeting me at the airport. He believed me and was very apologetic but if word comes out that David Cook is engaged to a blond, sorry world that was just me.

5. Megabus going down

Going anywhere in NYC during rush hour means traffic so it wasn’t really a problem that our 9:30 am bus didn’t even arrive at our bus stop until 9:45. Whatever, it happens. However many hours later Lauren decided to plug in her iPod charger in the outlets Megabus loves to brag they have and, much like last year, the outlet was dead. Annoyed, she unplugged it and half of her charger remained in the wall.

6. Megabus coming home

Sunday night we ate an early dinner so we prepared to snack on the bus with chips and an obscene amount of bottles of water which we swiped from the race Along with this, we were filled to the brim from a day of staying hydrated but not to worry, Megabuses have bathrooms. Guess what? Right after the bus played it’s welcome video- including how the bus was thoroughly inspected before every journey- passengers were informed there was good news and bad news. Good news: we were not making a stop to pick up or drop off in Baltimore as scheduled. Bad News: the toilet wasn’t working, but we would make a rest stop at some point. An hour (and short nap later) my bladder was exploding and Lauren told me just to go and not flush. I actually responded that I wasn’t sure if I should because, “I didn’t want to get in trouble.” You know because I am a five year old and in kindergarten! I did however risk the “trouble” and went.

We stopped at the rest stop around 10 pm (or as most Americans new it the time Obama was announcing that US troops killed Osama Bin Ladden.) While wandering around deciding if we wanted snacks, I noticed CNN was on the TVs and said, “Hey look CNN, oh whatever, I don’t care, if it’s important I will hear it tomorrow.” When we entered the Lincoln Tunnel not long later, and ever lane was lined with five police cars on either side, my jaded New York self thought nothing of it, and neither of these events clicked into my head as related or anything big until my mother told me what had happened when I called her to tell her that I was taking a cab from Manhattan to the Bronx (spending triple what I would have on the train I was planning on taking home) to save time, so I could go to bed. And of course the driver was Middle Eastern, and no they are not all terrorists but some of them are, so rather than telling Lauren sitting next to me what my mom had said, I texted her, “DON’T REACT AT ALL…WE KILLED BIN LADDEN.”

Just that day, we had been in the NEWSEUM looking at 9-11 remains and trust me when I tell you, it was so hard not to cheer, but while we may be nuts, we aren’t stupid.