Thoughts on upcoming "Jesus Film"

From today's Daily Mail:

Christian outrage as Basic Instinct director plans film of Jesus being the child of Roman soldier who raped Virgin Mary 

• Dutch director Paul Verhoeven will direct the project
• The film will be based on Verhoeven's 2010 book Jesus of Nazareth which discounts the events commonly attributed to the life of Christ
• News has sparked accusations that the filmmaker is attacking Christianity

By Daily Mail Reporter
PUBLISHED: 07:24 EST, 26 June 2012 | UPDATED: 10:30 EST, 26 June 2012

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2164895/Christian-outrage-Basic-Instinct-director-plans-film-Jesus-child-Roman-soldier-raped-Virgin-Mary.html#ixzz1yvD0kQus 

Now I am liberal, heck I am beyond liberal.  Not only due I tolerate the idea of two men being a married couple, I cheer for them, and given the right two men I might have even fantasied about it Brokeback Mountain  And I believe in creative interpretation, equal opportunity and all of that.  But I have to take the side of the right wing/ conservative Christians (shit the apocalypse might be coming.)  Saying that Jesus was the result of Rape and not divine intervention- which is the founding believe and universal connector of all Christians so yes THIS IS AN ATTACK ON CHRISTIANITY.


Lesser offense, they compare it to  Monty Python's the Life of Brian.  Perosnally, I think God has a very good sense of humor.  I think he chuckled with delight at Python making fun of people who just don't understand the message given and make up the rules as they go along. Not to mention how much fun he probably had with the crazies who said mocking Brian was a sin because he was God.  Didn't he even say the same thing the Python's did with that "Don't worship false Gods" Commandment- but I guess those people didn't get that far, oh wait it's number 1.    So that was not an attack on God or Christianity, it was an attack on idiots. 


That said, I don't think the film shouldn't be made.  The creators should be honest and say, "Hell yeah we are taking down Jesus! He's uppity and smug and needs to be taken down," or whatever.  Then when the truth is out there, if somebody still wants to make it and let's face it, the Wienstiens probably will because they make everything, it should be made. Then, if there is public demand for it, it should be released because those interested should be able to see it.  Then, if it bombs, as it mostly will, there will be a lesson learned.

  Only God can say for sure if anyone will go to Hell for this behavior, but that is the risk you take with any movie I suppose because really we don't know what goes on in his all knowing mind. Maybe he really hates the Transformer Franchise.

American Reunion

I once spoke about how Ten Things I Hate About You and how it held a place in my heart because those characters were teens in my world and how I grew up with the actors. However,there was never a follow up and due to the fact that Heath Ledger was such a major part, there most likely never will be. The characters exist only in that one unique time, American Pie's teens however grew up.

The AP gang were four years older than me which, being a discussing R rated sex comedy created an interesting dynamic between me and them. Unlike 10 Things, this was not a movie I could see in theatres at 13. I saw it on VHS (you know those old things) as soon as it came out and luckily my parents are cool enough to have gone with me to the sequel American Pie two. Those movies, though containing music I knew, clearly weren't relatable to my life as I was not exactly a sex crazed teenage boy and still have never wanted to sex a pie. That being said they were hilarious (filthy but hilarious) and watching felt dirty/dangerous and naughty in that way that you feel when you are young, naive and innocent.

By the time the franchise's third installment American Wedding, came out I was old enough to buy R-rated tickets so needless to say it was PG13. It was also my least favorite and, I assumed, the end of an era. Until now...

Sure, the last few years saw straight to dvd "American Pie Present" films but I had no interest in those; after all I was an adult now- no need for stupid potty humor. Still the whole cast coming back for 'Reunion met I would be seeing it. I have also decided it's ok to like potty humor in your twenties because Melissa Macarthy became world renown for pooping in a sink.

I have to say, I see a free movie almost every single week but this might have been the best no money I have ever not spent (and well worth a ticket price.) Aside from the fact that the gang doesn't get together very much apparently (boo) and the weird adjustment to them being thirty, and therefore I am nearing it- I absolutely loved the film. I did nothing but laugh and would see it 100 more times.

I saw Contagion

You may recall that when I started this blog I considered naming it "confessions" or "adventures of an uninsured hypochondriac" and indeed I have a history of overreacting; when the stomach flu hit me in January, I thought I was going to die. That actually isn’t the worst case scenario because I truly believe that that is as close to death as anyone without a chronic disease like HIV or cancer can get. But let’s be honest, whatever it is they are suffering from on (insert your favorite doctor drama here) is usually the least possible diagnosis of the common symptoms the patient shows. They say things like, “this almost never happens” but that doesn’t mean, when the symptoms hit me, I don’t think, “maybe I am the .01% that does die from hiccups.


It doesn’t help that, as I mentioned in my first Washington blog, this winter literally saw me sick with something or other constantly from the beginning of January right through to the first few weeks of spring. Clearly, this was due to horrible luck or even more dreadful immunity (probably that one because from mid August until the end of September, I suffered from Ear infection turned cold turned sinus infection) but I asked my doctor the chances that the chronic cough was due to lung cancer. Just to be clear, I don’t smoke- never did- and have never lived with anyone who does, but understand that, no matter how outrageous that sounds, I truly believed that it was possible. That is how my mind operates, I can’t see medical logic in the moment, I am working on it but it is a struggle.

Seeing movies like CONTAGION probably doesn’t help. It was an amazing movie that really takes you through the struggles of what it is like to be against diseases from every angle. Kate Winslett leads the charge of characters who deal with the disease from a medical side, trying to find a cure while trying to keep the population from panicking. Jude Law shined as the “crack pot” who calmly takes to the web to expose the truth about the government covering up the true cure because of ulterior motives, played perfectly against the population in panic. And then there is Matt Damon; brilliant as a man who loses his wife and stepson to this mysterious illness and barricades his daughter inside to wait out the storm, desperate to protect his last family member.

Basically, I am saying that it was one of the best movies of the year, but why would I see that film? I take crowded public transit everyday and let’s be frank, my immunity is clearly weak lately, if the Contagion virus hit, I would so get it. Not to mention they trace the virus back to bad fruit poisoned by a bat that then was consumed by a pig that turned out to be Gweneth Paltrow’s dinner (and don’t think for one minute that stuck up vegan took on the role for any other reason than to showcase how meat will kill us all.) I had pork ribs for dinner that night.

In conclusion, we are all going to die wash your hand a lot, don’t touch your face, cough into your close, wash your hands some more, and if you feel particularly contagious stay away from society.

Thanks :)

CALLING ALL Rhode Island Terry Gilliam fans

This

Th

This is last minute but if you are in the area, stop by. I wish I could I am dying to see this film.

Flickers fest opens with must-see Terry Gilliam short

01:00 AM EDT on Tuesday, August 9, 2011

By Michael Janusonis

Journal Arts Writer

In “The Wholly Family,” young Jake has a fantastic journey while on vacation in Naples with his family.

Terry Gilliam headlines the opening night of Flickers: The Rhode Island International Film Festival when his short film, “The Wholly Family” goes on screen at 7 p.m. Tuesday, Aug. 9, at Veterans Memorial Auditorum. Once of the Monty Python troupe, Gilliam has created bizarre worlds in “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” and “Brazil.” And “The Wholly Family,” at just under 21 minutes long, is as off the wall as some of his earlier feature films.

Set in Naples (the one in Italy, not the one Rhode Islanders retire to in Florida), it follows the nightmare adventures of Jake, a nasty, demanding boy who is on vacation with his parents. Jake has taken a liking to a figurine of a Neapolitan baker on sale from a slightly creepy street vendor. When his parents don’t give in, Jake steals the figurine.

That night, in Jake’s nightmare, the figurine grows to man size. He forces Jake into his belly where there are lots of Neapolitan bakers who force food on Jake. This is followed by a very strange sequence in which the bakers take Jake to a hospital on an island where babies are delivered from huge eggs, including Jake.

The film has an oddball twist involving baby Jake. And there’s an amusing twist at the end, too, that mimics the familiar tableau figurines of the Holy Family — Jesus, Mary and Joseph. I’m not sure what will happen theatrically with “The Wholly Family,” although it might be given Academy Award consideration. For Gilliam fans, it’s one not to be missed.

mjanuson@projo.com

source: http://www.projo.com/movies/content/CONNECT_wholly_family_RIIFF_08-09-11_REPDQFE_v8.417e8.html

25 movies I can watch over and over

In honor of my 25th birthday on the 8th, I have decided to make some lists of twenty fives, starting with this one. These aren't necessarily the best acted films or the greatest plots I've seen, because let's face it sometimes a movie is so amazing you only want to see it once. Rather, these are the old reliables, or at least some of them.


1. THE DARK KNIGHT
2. THE LIFE OF BRIAN
3. IMAGINARIUM OF DR. PARNASSUS
4. THE BROTHERS GRIMM
5. TEN THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU
6. THE BIRDCAGE
7. IT'S MY PARTY
8. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
9. ENCHANTED
10. THE SOUND OF MUSIC
11. MEET ME IN ST. LOUIS
12. JEFFREY
13. THE TIME TRAVELER'S WIFE
14. SUPERBAD
15. MAJOR LEAGUE TWO
16. FOR LOVE OF THE GAME
17. MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL
18. BEACHES
19. SINGING IN THE RAIN
20. THE MUPPETS TAKE MANHATTAN
21. GRANDMA'S BOY
22. SLEEPING BEAUTY
23. CASANOVA
24. THE UNFABULOUS LIFE OF ETHAN GREEN
25. LOVE IN THE TIME OF CHOLERA (NOT REALLY JUST WANTED SOMETHING UNEXPECTED) ACTUALLY THE WIZZARD OF OZ

HOW DARE THEY REMAKE ARTHUR!!

That was my reaction when rumors started to circulate that the drunken millionaire with a heart of gold may return to theatres. In my opinion, not that it should be a surprise because you know I love me some Bits, Dudly Moore is simply irreplaceable. I was livid! BEDAZZLED was bad enough; replacing Moore and Peter Cook, but ARTHUR (and its sequal) rank high on my favorite movies list. Whoever it was they tried to make Arthur, I refused to let myself get caught between the moon and NYC with him.

Serendipitiously, ARTHUR just happened to be filming around the city right after I saw its star, Rustle Brand in GET HIM TO THE GREEK and, though not Moore, he did almost get me to pee myself laughing so I thought, "whatever, it will suck but if it is free I guess I will go."

Having read reviews in which people complained how different the remake was from the original, I began to get excited and when I saw it, I was pleasantly surprised with how good it was. The key is to look at it the way I believe the filmmakers intended it, as a reimaging not a remake. Liza was amazing as Linda and nobody could top her which is why the lead character, who I like to think of as a completely different millionaire with the same name by chance, falls for a completely different girl named Naomi (Greta Gerwig.) The leads, both brilliant, are joined by Helen Miran as Hobson, a female nanny not male butler, and Jennifer Gardner as Susan Johnson, Arthur's mentally unstable (in a way that is only funny in film not life) exgirlfriend/ fiance (the original Susan role was dry and boring, but never psychotic.)

So if you are looking for the same ARTHUR with new actors, don't go see this film, you will be disappointed and angry. However, if you are in the mood for something new and funny, go for it. Either way, see the original too.

Ten Things I Hate About You: A snapshot of my youth

I have a confession to make; I despise ‘80s teen flicks. I mean the soundtracks are great-ish but the movies do nothing for me. For me if Molly Ringwood is in a movie, it’s off faster than Jude Law’s pants at a Victoria Secret fashion show. I don’t get them and I don’t think I am supposed to; they are campy and trashy and allude to a world I will never know anything about, being a teenager at a time when I was still in diapers. It always seemed to me that the teen genre got better as I got older. An advancement in the field if you will; a sort of work in progress that was ever evolving and that, lucky for me, neared perfection right around the time I hit puberty.


This theory looses validity, however, when you look at the movies geared toward teens today. I am, just for a moment discounting anything involving vampires, werewolves, or wizards- not that their lives and afterlives aren’t important but I really doubt anyone ever thought to themselves, if only I found the right supernatural man, and I know he’s out there somewhere, everything else will fall into place. On second thought, many probably have but I don’t have time to get into that kind of crazy today. I’m talking about things like High School Musical, Camp Rock, or anything that involves Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus, and the dreaded Justin Bieber. High school is not about everyone signing together and embracing the differences because deep down inside we all just want to dance and watching such crap makes me want to scream, “Where are the mean girls? Some dude better start talking about stealing a girl’s virtue soon before I vomit.”


The truth is no decade’s movies were better, they are just what I knew which is why, if you were born in the ‘70s you’ve lived a John Waters life and for people like me, you know what it was like for the students in Ten Things I Hate About You (not the TV show.) I wore those clothes, I listened to those songs, and most importantly, I grew up with those actors. I have dealt with academic staff members who are just as incompetent as Ms. Perky (sitting in her guidance office ignoring students while she works on her sex novel) or as uncaring and self involved as Mr. Morgan. I fully believed (who am I kidding, still believe) that two of the teachers at my high school were hooking up in the TV closet and my best friend once injured herself in PE because the teacher read a magazine while we taught ourselves Tai bo from a video. While it is true that a cute foreign boy never hijacked the PA system and serenaded me in front of the student body (clearly this was because I went to all girls catholic) I did see a fist fight that not only matches Larisa Oleynik’s but might even beat it.


So while I can’t understand the sex appeal of Charlie Sheen or Judd Nelson and just plain can’t understand Bieber, it doesn’t matter, you can keep your washed up or future burn outs because I will always have Patrick Verona, and he will always be too good to be true.