The Blog in which you discover I’m probably not as smart as I seem

This is being written under the assumption that I come across smart.

I have a bit of an aversion to horror. I don’t do Haunted Houses, haunted hey rides, horror movies, anything like that. I can do thrillers but not Slashers. I watch TRUE BLOOD, which isn’t really considered all that scary and still usually have to keep myself from all out screaming once an episode. It’s not about blood, it’s just about nightmares.

JAWS is billed as a horror movie. For this reason I Managed to go 22 years with out seeing it. I might be the only person to accomplish this, I heard for at least 12 of those years, “How have you never seen JAWS? Everyone has seen it.” The reaction was always as if I had said that I lacked some vital internal organ, but I’d seemed so normal. Two years ago (as you can probably guess by my age) I finally saw the film. It wasn’t that the peer pressure had gotten to me, I simply realized that, if I made it through JAWS 2, I should see the original.

I don’t normally watch sequels first. It was late at night two summers ago while I was staying at the Jersey Shore when I came across movie where a cute little boy was playing on a beach. It seemed like something that would sooth me or bore me to sleep, so I let it on. A few minutes in I saw Roy Schneider talking about how shutting down the beach because there was someone found dead.

“Oh my God, this is JAWS,” I yelled. “JAWS is going to eat the little boy!”

I then proceeded to watch the entire movie to make sure the little boy didn’t get eaten, as if I was his personal defender and I could save him. SPOILER: he doesn’t.

So let’s review, I watched a movie about a shark attacking people while I was in a bedroom literally a few yards away from the beach! And, furthermore, it was the middle of the night which, as anyone can tell you, is a great time to watch a movie that might scare you. I actually didn’t have any nightmares or fear at all really. In fact, I quite liked the movie and wanted to see the original as soon as I went home, but that really isn’t the point. And for the record, that movies isn’t a Horror movie at all, it’s more a suspense film with strawberry juice in the water, but again, I didn’t know that at the time.

There really isn’t a moral to this story, just a bit of insight into the (insane) way my mind works.